Trapped in her Leadership Style!

Which one of these options would you select to choose the worst supervisor?

A. Employed favoritism in decision-making.

B. Insecure in his or her leadership capabilities.

C. Overworked you without any appreciation for your hard work.

Like most of you, I dealt with all of the above. I didn’t have the luxury to choose only one of the above options.

Ironically, I used to have high regards for the supervisor until I had the “pleasure” of working with her. Yes, my supervisor was a “she.” I usually enjoy working with female leaders and learn from their experience. Unfortunately, my supervisor had very little to offer other than her usual comment, “If it was me, I wouldn’t know how to deal with such an email.” The job involved dealing with a high volume of communications, some of it was not friendly. Usually, she would hide in her office and leave the team to take the hit of a “nastygram.”  As the Point of Contact or POC, I used to find ways to address the concerns rather than hiding in my office hoping it would go away on its own. Other challenges involved dealing with difficult participants in such a way that wouldn’t impact the goals of the workshop.

The real question continues to be, how do you deal with a difficult supervisor?  There isn’t one straightforward answer that will work for everyone. But, I can share with you what worked for me.

Step #1: Survive the initial shock.

You have to survive the first couple of months during which you would feel like you lost your balance and your world is spinning fast. Don’t cave in, because your boss will simply fire you or under evaluate you. The insecure leader is like a jealous controlling partner. You have to train him or her, otherwise, your partner will you cut off from your family and friends. Similarly, your insecure boss will cut you off from promotions and opportunities.  To survive, you need to develop long-term goals, such as finding another position, honing certain skills, or achieving professional growth. Personally, I had all of the previously mentioned goals as my objectives and I achieved them.  During the survival phase, you have to pay attention to your health and use certain techniques to mitigate stress.  My health was impacted, but I managed.

Step#2 Analyze the root causes of the insecurities

I studied my supervisor and analyzed her insecurities and shortcomings. For example, she wanted perfection, but she was miles away from it.  She wanted to be admired and appreciated, but no one liked her. My supervisor’s major weakness was her own insecurities.  So what did I do with the analysis? Read step#3

Step # 3 Play the supervisor against their own insecurities

You need to stand up for yourself and start “playing the game.” You have tools and strategies that can be utilized to your advantage. Below are the main three that worked for me.

•   Utilizing the power of questions during the staff meeting. So,  I would innocently ask questions about the shortcomings. Then, when she would murmur, “I don’t understand what do you mean?” Then, I would elaborate beautifully, adding more details that I couldn’t include in my question statement. Often times, the manager of the division would attend, and so it happened that I had the handout that was distributed to all participants. However, the handout included inaccurate information.  I also asked questions about 1) her “snitch” that she favorited, 2)her directives that she revised each time a team-member asked her about it, or any other issue that reflected her power leadership. For this technique to work, you should ask “innocently,” i.e. you are asking in hopes of finding some answers.  If you sound like an interrogator, you would lose ground.
• Contributing to your professional growth. If you are required to complete one report,  then volunteer to complete two more. If there is a call for presentations, papers, or action research in your field, then submit a presentation or paper.  When you grow in your field, you make it difficult for your supervisor to demote you, or get rid of you.   I published a paper in my field. I also presented four times; twice with my organization and twice with another organization.  When my supervisor refused to give me administrative leave that other employees received, I took leave out of my personal time and paid from my own travel expenses and lodging. After all, I am building my legacy.  You should too.  In the end, my supervisor was defeated. She didn’t have any grounds to demote me.
• Employing witty rhetorical devices.  My supervisor utilized a highly unprofessional language to intimidate me.  So, I used to thank her for her leadership style that reflected her caliber and work ethics. I even gave her a card to that effect. I elaborated on her moral values and standards. She turned yellow when she read it.  I was telling her straight to her face that she was a poor leader who lacked basic work ethics. Yet, she couldn’t take any action against me, unless she would admit to her unprofessionalism.  I utilized the same strategy with her “snitch” who didn’t do anything except finking on other coworkers. For this strategy to work effectively, you need to 1) use a mild and professional tone, otherwise, you will expose yourself.2)  elaborate on the details of the real event, so that your supervisor can recall it to understand the true meaning behind your note. 3) Be careful and don’t overdo it.

Ultimately, I left the division with my head held high.  The executive manager of the division, told me, in front of my supervisor, “you can come back anytime you want.”  Another team member left shortly after my departure. Those who stated they are looking for the opportunity to jump ship.

Poor leadership stands alone, trapped in its own negative traits and attempts to limit growth.  In the end, poor leadership limits itself.